Category: Poem

My words will hurt more than the loss
The story I would narrate will speak more than I ever did to you
No matter the pain you brought upon me
No matter how evil of you I speak
I pray for you to never be my muse.

Hidden beside the glory of being remembered eternally
There lies the misery of truth too bitter for you to taste
Your words left more scars upon my skin and beneath
I fear- so much chaos I cannot contain
Neither the excitement nor the joy
Neither the agony nor the fears.

Sure, with utter delight I would paint your pictures in colour
But wait for the colour as it eventually disappears
Do you dare to witness the hullabaloo reek?
Do you dare to see yourself step down from the pedestal within my heart and thoughts?
Do you dare to see my attempts to heal by blotching my paper-
Sometimes with ink, sometimes with colour, but mostly in tears?
Do you dare to be drawn in an attempt to be buried in the graveyard of memories?
I thought so-
In honor of the good times we shared long ago,
I pray for you to never be my muse.

Through years of learning and madmen humming
I grew up listening to music that was a bliss,
With years of taste and daunting intellect
I felt the force of tunes could bind people together-
Sometimes in name of attraction, mostly claiming it to be a forever.

With years of experience and a few heartbreaks- a little over one or two
I was entrapped in realisations of lyrics being cursed
Not the rhythm, or the melody
Sheer words sent by a lover-
Deciphered as his eternal feelings
Too late to be reciprocated only to learn that eternity here was short lived.

Oh! That one song from him
And the another from one before
They speak of clear intentions-
A baritone saying My Love Will Never Die
And the one was it righteously named Ruin My Life?
Alas! these and Johnny Cash smugly sitting in a candidly curated playlist
Reminding me of lovers from past
A few more minutes of shattering a heart-
And hours and may be days of reliving the moments of chaos that follows a severe loss.

From one playlist, the songs might seep and merge into others
May be I’ll become numb to these tunes
May be I’ll sing the words out loud like they were my own jam
But I’ll not erase the face that appears before my eyes-
Only learn to silently smile as if the torments were tamed.